I didn't give you the gift of life, Life gave me the gift of you

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Dear Son,

Wow, today you are six. Your excitement is contagious as you count down the days to the birthday cake picture on the calendar. Knowing each day was a day closer. Three days mommy, two days mommy is all I kept hearing. But I'm not ready for it. I thought it would be easier but knowing that you are getting a day older everyday is hard to accept.

Sometimes when I look at you I don't see a big six year old, I see my belly growing and feeling you kick. Counting down the days till I got to meet you and kiss your little hands, whispering in your little ears how much I loved you already and promising for the rest of my life I would do anything and everything I could to help you and love you and always be there for you. Promises of undying love.

I see a sweet baby with velcro sunglasses on under a blue light.

I see a little boy army crawling around the house trying to get the dog so you can pull his ears and try to eat him. ( he secretly loved it don't worry )

I see you learning to walk and taking your first steps. Walking a few steps and falling into my arms like a safety net, with the biggest smile on your face from the accomplishment. 

 I see a toddler making such extraordinary messes and studying all that you do. Always mommy play with me, mommy look, mommy whats that. 

I see my preschooler walking into a class and not even blinking an eye at the fact that mommy was going to leave you because you are such a social little butterfly that it was heaven for you and hell for mommy. I remember sitting in the car watching you smile and laugh, crying because you were growing so much faster than I thought you would, and counting down the minutes till I could pick you up and hear all about your day. 

I'm not ready for you to be six yet, I still haven't bottled up your quirks and mannerisms to remember forever. How do I pause time so I can fill my well with memories. I love watching you grow every milestone but, I long for the days of naked butt tag because you don't want a diaper on. And in six years I will long for this now, the days of mommy one more book, the days of mommy play legos with me, the days of learning site words and snuggling on the couch just because. One day you won't choose me over everyone else to be your playdate. One day you won't need help reading and we won't snuggle as much.

You have taught me so much baby boy you have taught me courage. You aren’t afraid to throw yourself out there. You take risks and you don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something. Except when it comes to trying new foods. I wish you would trust me when I say you’ll like it. But that’s okay. I’ll get over it. You have taught me to enjoy life and all its beauty. That a giving heart is the best there is to have, you are always willing to give your toys to the less fortunate. You have taught me love, and how to do so deeply and unconditionally.

As you're last day as a five year old comes to an end, my advice for you on your sixth birthday is this.. If you make your decisions wisely, you’ll be able to live without regret and with happiness. it's not about possessions or materials but more about the results of living your values – even though they may be difficult. This moment, today, and tomorrow, will never be given back so live it to the fullest. Keep that thirst for life, and share it with the world. Don't forget to be silly, don't take life to seriously. And smile, Its good for the soul.

So my big six year old, Happy Birthday to you. Mommy and Daddy love you to the moon and back a thousand times. Always have and always will. Just remember, no matter how old you get. You will always be my baby.

Your Likes

Anything with wheels and an engine

Working with Daddy

Cooking with Mommy

School

Reading

Legos

Video Games

Camping

Long Walks

Super Heros

Star Wars

Meatloaf

Sour Patch Kids

Miniture Golf

Bowling

Staying the night at Grandmas

Helping Grandpa Mike

Dance Parties

Chinese food

Apricot Jelly

Your Dislikes

Tomatoes

Having to sit still to eat

Playing Alone

Being Dirty

When someones hurt

Soda

Buns

Brussel Sprouts

Lettuce

Tomorrow we can eat broccoli,Today is for ice cream

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Mondays, do you ever stop and wonder why they got a bad rap? Who decided that Monday was the worst day of the week to have. It brings a new week, new opportunities, new beginnings. Tuesday gets Monday's exhaustion and Wednesday gets humor, Thursday gets last minute stress and Friday gets a party. While Saturday and Sunday get rest and happiness. Why do we let these days affect our moods and activities? Why do we give them so much power.

Do you ever stop and think, I am not promised tomorrow.. did i make the most of today. Did you stop and listen to your child when they were talking to you or where you so busy with the dishes or dinner or work that you shoved it off and said later. When was the last time you went for a walk and looked at life through grateful eyes, truly seeing all of its beauty and wonders. The last time you snuggled your child and was 100% in the moment. No phone, no distractions.

What if you didn't wake up tomorrow, would you look back and cry because the moments you had weren't good enough? or would you smile with serenity and know that those you left behind have so much to remember you by. You are not remembered for the clean house you had, the designer bags you carried or the car you drove. You are remembered by the moments you shared, the things you said and did. You are remembered by the life you lived. Are you truly living if you are spending it cleaning, working, stressing? If you died, who would morn you, not just for a day or two but truly morn and miss you and your presence? Who would come and cry for the loss of you in their life.

We need to live life like our dogs and children. With curiosity, with unconditional love and thankfulness. Everyday is a blessing, we need to treat it like that. We need to allow ourselves to be in the moment, and take more of them for ourselves. Life waits for no one.. Enjoy the little things and have some ice cream

Your time as a caterpillar is expired, your wings are ready

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I get asked a lot, how did you loose the weight. Whats your secret?? The truth is there isn't a secret, all it takes it dedication. Some people don't understand there is no quick fix. It took me a long time wondering, why are they even asking me for advice i haven't lost much weight. And one day it hit me..

This is me 1 year ago.

Do you see how my face is, my arms. I never saw myself as really fat or overweight. Sure i wore a size 16-14 in pants and a XL-L in tops. But i was never really hardcore on loosing weight.. i would work out for a few weeks and then not for a month. It was never a priority.


What switched you ask? One day I realized all the mental abuse I was conflicting on myself. All the crying i was doing in fitting rooms, but really what hit me was looking back at pictures. I avoided them, they are just of little G or of my husband and little G. Hardly ever did i find one of the two or three of us together. And i realized things needed to change.

The didn't change fast, it took a whole year of hard work to loose 45 pounds. And I'm still working hard everyday. But while i may not see changes in my body as much anymore. I see them in my mentality and pictures. I don't avoid dressing up, trying on clothes or taking photos. I don't avoid sex with the lights on or walking around in my underwear. I have learned more self love and in that comes inner peace.

But how did i go from the top picture to my current picture?

Weight Training is a huge part of it. When you weight train you work your muscles, and when you work them you continue to burn fat and calories even when you aren't working out, plus it helps carve out your curves. Cardio, but not just on the hamster wheel, you need HITT. And you can't out run a bad diet. So yes, you need to eat less crap. Did i cut out all "bad" foods? No, I don't believe there are "bad" or "good" foods. I believe there is beauty and sanity to balance. Enjoy your life, eat the foods you know aren't the healthiest, but do so in moderation. And learn how to make the bad foods with better ingredients.

There is no pill, no quick fix all option, no easy button. It takes hard work and dedication. But when you really want something, the work will be the easy part, the waiting for the results you want will be the challenge.

Have you ever....

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Have you ever ordered something from a company and received the wrong item, you call and they fix it for you and your happy. But, have you ever ordered from someone and something was wrong with your order and you just can't seem to get the company to make it right?

Well I am here to warn you that Luxor Linens is by far the worst company I have had to deal with and forewarn you not to order from them.

Wish I could give them half a star if I had to give them a star at all. This is the WORST company and customer service I have ever dealt with. We order a set of sheets off Living Social 100% Cottton, 1000tc Worth 350-400$. When I received my sheets I was sent the wrong size ( King instead of Queen ) After calling for three days and getting hung up on when on hold multiple times I finally got a hold of someone who explained the reason I received King was because they were out of Queen. After explaining I order Queen because that is what I have and I cannot use the King, I was told that I would be upgraded and a return label was being sent to me.

Almost TWO WEEKS LATER still nothing. So I called back ( now just so you get a feel of how calling these people is like. You have to plan on the next three days doing nothing but calling on and off all day just to sit on hold for 5-15 minutes just to end up getting hung up on ) I got a hold of another lady who informed me my request was never processed. She said she would process it and also include a free gift for my troubles and that it should take 24-48 hours to receive my return label.

Three days later still nothing, So i call back and I am told that it is being processed and to call back the next day if I still haven't received it. Next day, still nothing. I call back and finally get my label and send in my sheets and wait for my UPGRADED set and free gift. I received my so called UPGRADED set yesterday and was baffled, what they sent me as an upgrade was a Cotton / Polyester blend worth 150$. How does that make sense, going from a 400$ set to a 150$ set? and no free gift.

By now I am really frustrated and call back, today i finally get ahold of someone on my third call and I am told that they now have my original sheet set in stock in Queen and I should receive my return label in 24-48 hours so I can send back my joke of an upgrade to get my original set I paid for and possibly a free gift if they remember.

Wonder how long it will take this time.. my advice? Take you money and go to Costco. They have an awesome set cheaper and nicer and their customer service is much better than this joke of a place.

DO NOT ORDER FROM LUXOR!! 

Another year older already.....

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Today my beloved Monster turns four. The transition to big kid is almost complete. Gone are even the slightest physical remnants of toddler hood. No more dimpled fingers, no more chubby cheeks, no more cautious steps or pacifier, His words are becoming more pronounced and soon all those silly words and mispronunciations will be gone. 

It’s been a year of lengthening strides, blossoming independence, and growing pains. Not just for monster butt. Because, as much as my heart soars and swells with each new milestone and victory, it simultaneously shatters into a million tiny pieces. I’m learning that every rite of passage is one step closer to the day I can’t solve his problems with a kiss and a cool band-aid.

Far too soon, I won’t be able to shield him from heartache or tragedy.

Eventually I will have to let go.

And it all just goes by so damn fast.

Time Marches On

I’m having a hard time wrapping my mind around the passage of another year. In many ways, it’s been a complete blur. I wouldn't say I missed it. I just wish I’d paid more attention, slowed down, really listened and enjoyed it. You are the spunkiest little kid I have ever met... not a day goes by when you don't laugh hysterically, filling up the room with joyful noise, and bring happiness to everyone you come across. I find it hard to believe that you've already been through a year of school. You are such a little smarty pants and I love being with you as you discover new things and learn about the world around you. If we're being honest, I could live with fewer meltdowns over silly things, but I know that I'll miss these days when you're older!

I cringe to think of the times I lost my temper with him. Raising my voice & losing my cool over some minor transgression, that looking back now, I can’t even remember. Sometimes I push. Or overreact. Or both.

Thankfully Monster is wise beyond his years. He has a way of steering me back on course with a hug, a giggle, or three simple words spoken with absolute sincerity.

Remarkable Strides

Looking back, from little to big, tangible to intangible, it’s been an extraordinary year.

A is for Amazing

From scribbles and slashes of paint to the most adorable stick people, houses and jellyfish you've ever seen, his artwork is a window into a vivid imagination. If you take the time to talk about what each one means and is. It is more like a story told by the most innocent eyes and heart and just random lines on a paper

His favorite thing to do is practice his writing. Perched on a stool in the kitchen, he asks me to spell a laundry list of words, while he carefully transcribes each one in handwriting that puts the most adoreable smile on his face. 

B is for Best Friend

He has blossomed as a friend this year, he has learned to understand more about his feelings and feelings of others and giving them a hug when they are sad or sharing a very delicious cookie. He has become a great leader, and can be very bossy. 

 But while he can be obnoxiously righteous and downright authoritarian at times, he’s also fiercely protective and amazingly patient.

Monster will go through life with the most incredible ally's and best friend by his sides

C is for Character

It’s not about the ribbons or the records or the stickers. It’s about the character and strength that shine like a beacon, lighting up his determined little face.

D is for Determined 

When you get your mind made up on something you sure do go at it with all the passion you have. One day that will be an amazing quality to have my dear 

E is for Emotional

One thing about you is how in tune you are with your emotions. You are getting good about putting words to them, but you still cry hard, lash out and laugh uncontrollably at times. You are extremely empathetic and kind. 

F is for Friendly 

Not a day goes by that you do not make a new friend you love meeting new people and are so outgoing.

G is for Gentle

Every bug, flower, animal it all gets your most gentle and compassionate touch... Unless its the dogs you seem to be a little rough with them

H is for Happy 

You are always such a happy and energetic kid. I get told all the time how you light up the room. 

I is for Incredible 

You do not know it but you are the most incredible little kid i know. So smart and talented and full of life. Plus you can go to bed late, get up early and still be full of spunk... 

J is for Jovial 

As I said before you are always so happy and joyful 

K is for Kind

To all, Big and small you are beyond your years in kindness and love 

L is for Likable

Still have yet to meet someone who dislikes you. You will go far in life little man

M is for Mischievous 

Yes, that is right. I know about you asking me something and going to daddy when you do not receive the answer your looking for and vise versa. You always have a tell tell sign on your face when you are thinking of doing something your not suppose to... like jumping on the furniture 

N is for Naked

You love to be naked .. lol ..

O is for Optimistic 

You always find the good in everything.

P is for Polite 

You are always using you manors. 

Q is for Quick - Witted 

Extremely clever for a four year old.

R is for Resourceful 

Finding clever ways to get around a difficulty you are having 

S if for Smart

I can not even begin to tell you how incredibly intelligent you are. You figure things out almost as quick as you eat. ( pretty much three bites and your done ) 

T is for Thoughtful 

You always think of how others are feeling and how to make it better. And the pictures you draw or the flowers you pick and the necklaces you make are cherries on top.

U is for Upbeat 

Always so cheerful and full of life

W is for Wacky 

You sure do make up and do some weird things 

Cant think of  for X

Y is for Young

Please stay little as long as you can...  I love you but i want to enjoy your youth

Z is for Zealous 

You are always so enthusastic 

My Wish

When Monster blows out his candles, I’m going to close my eyes and make my own wish.

I’ll wish for the power and strength to ensure his sparkle never diminishes but only grows brighter at 4, 14, 40, and every age between and beyond.

Here is to your birthday little man. you have been such a blessing in my life and i will always cherish you and love you to the moon and back x a million. 

Likes: 

Cars

Tractors

Basically anything with a motor or wheels 

Helping dad work 

Helping mom cook

Going for long walks

Camping 

Bowling

Doing crafts

School

The park

Grandma's suckers

Reading books

Playing job site

 Hot dogs

Dislikes:

The dentist 

Bedtime

Tomatoes 

Any green veggie

Justify your coffee addiction

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Can you imagine life without coffee? We’d all stumble around like drones for hours every morning, lost without our precious fix. We love coffee for its flavor, its aroma and of course its pick-me-up, but there are more compelling reasons to stay stocked up. These tips will give you surprising and unusual uses for fresh coffee beans or grounds that have gone stale, the pounds of used grounds you toss out every week.

Kill fridge odor

Wouldn’t you rather smell coffee than two-week-old leftovers, half-rotten produce and spoiled milk? If your fridge is a nightmare of foul odors, place a bowl of fresh, unused coffee grounds inside and leave it for a day or two. The coffee will absorb the odors and you’ll crave a cup whenever you open the door. This odor-killing trick works for practically anything else as well – just place the item in a sealed plastic bag along with an open can of coffee grounds and bye-bye stank.

Reduce cellulite

Pricey cellulite creams almost always have one major ingredient in common: caffeine, which supposedly enhances fat metabolism, reducing the appearance of these fatty pockets under the skin. To make your own coffee cellulite treatment at home, mix warm used coffee grounds with coconut oil and rub it onto your skin in circular motions for a few minutes before rinsing.

Erase smells on your hands

Garlic, salmon, cilantro – there are some things that smell delicious when cooking, but aren’t so pleasant hours later when they linger on your hands. Get rid of them by rubbing a handful of used coffee grounds on your hands and rinsing with warm water.

Make rich compost

There’s a reason so many gardeners swear by adding used coffee grounds to compost. The grounds are rich in phosphorous, potassium, magnesium and copper, they release nitrogen into the soil as they degrade and they’re a little bit acidic, which is great for certain soils. If you compost on a large scale, you can get used grounds for free at your local coffee hot spot or Starbucks.

Get shiny hair

Who doesn’t want shiny, healthy-looking hair? Coffee is often recommended as a simple, natural treatment to make hair extra-glossy. Brew up an extra-strong pot, let it cool and apply it to your dry, clean hair. Leave it on for at least twenty minutes, then rinse. Keep it up once a week or so for best results.

Natural dye

The natural pigments in coffee make it a great natural dye for fabric, paper, Easter eggs – even your hair. Brush paper with strong brew and let it dry, or soak fabric items in hot coffee. The results won’t be color-fast, and may bleed out onto other items, so it’s best to use this on items that won’t be washed very often if at all. Using coffee as a hair shine treatment, as previously mentioned, may temporarily lend a rich, dark tint to your hair.

Reduce fireplace mess

Want to clean your fireplace without causing a dust storm? Wait until the embers are cool, sprinkle damp coffee grounds all over the ashes , let them sit for about 15 minutes and then scoop out the whole mess into a metal ash can. The coffee grounds cling to the ashes, so they don’t  spew dust nearly as much as they would otherwise.

Exfoliate skin

The same properties that reportedly enable coffee to reduce the appearance of cellulite can smooth and tighten your skin, and the texture of ground coffee will buff away dead skin cells, too. Make your own coffee-based scrub by combining a tablespoon of coffee grounds with half a tablespoon of olive oil and, optionally, a drop of your favorite essential oil.

Repel ants

Sprinkle dry, used coffee grounds in problem areas where you notice ants in your home or yard and they might just pick up and leave. To tackle huge ant mounds, pour an entire pot of brewed coffee right on the mound.

Fertilize plants

Acid-loving plants will thank you for sprinkling your used coffee grounds around their roots. Azaleas, blueberry shrubs and rhododendrons are just a few of the plants that flourish when treated with coffee thanks to all those nutrients. You can also dilute the leftover coffee in your mug and pour it right into your potted plants (as long as you don’t use cream and sugar, of course!)

Keep cats out of your garden

To you, that little garden in your yard is a beautiful source of fresh herbs, fruits and vegetables, but to seemingly every cat in a five-mile radius, it’s a giant, irresistible litter box. Just use the trick mentioned above, sprinkling used coffee grounds on the soil, and cats will want nothing to do with it.

Scrub all kinds of surfaces

Mildly abrasive and acidic, coffee grounds are great for scrubbing surfaces like countertops, cooking ranges and refrigerators. Use them alone or mix them with a little dish soap.

Auto air freshener

Next time you accidentally spill coffee grounds on the floor, don’t just sweep them up and toss them in the trash. You can use them to make an all-natural DIY air freshener like this one at Instructables. 

Repel fleas

Rub used, damp coffee grounds through your pet’s fur after bathing to repel fleas without questionable, likely-toxic chemical treatments. If nothing else, it will at least improve that post-bath wet-dog smell that gets all over your furniture.

Pretty vase fillers

Stale or dirty coffee beans are still a thing of beauty. Use them as vase fillers, or in cups or jars full of pens and pencils. Not only are they pretty, they continue to smell good for quite a while, too.

Start vermicomposting

Red wriggler worms, the sort used in vermicomposting systems, love coffee almost as much as we do. It’s not really clear why, but if you want a thriving community of worms to devour all of your kitchen waste (and those nasty little things really are amazingly efficient), be sure to add used coffee grounds to their bedding on a regular basis.

Secret recipe ingredient

Just a little hint of coffee can be the ingredient that becomes your undisclosed “magic touch” in foods like chili, ice cream and chocolate cake. Use a little bit as a marinade for steaks and not only will it make them unbelievably tender, it’ll also provide a hint of deep, smoky flavor.

Touch up furniture scratches

Scratches on wood furniture disappear almost instantly by simply rubbing in a little bit of instant coffee dampened into a paste with hot water. Repeat if necessary until the scratch matches the surrounding wood. 

What are some way you use coffee? 

Great Balls Of Fur

Meet Tanner, the new little fluff ball that has stolen our hearts and chews on everything he can driving me insane trying to teach him not to.

He was born on 6/14/13, Was brought into the Kuhn household 8/3/13. He is a ball of energy. We got him for our son so he could have a pal. We have a Chihuahua but he is more of an old lady lay around all day on your lap kind of dog... not really the kind for a crazy 4 year old. He is a Golden Retriever and extremely smart. At his first vet appointment on 8/7 he weighed 12.3 pounds, and i can guarantee the way he eats he is at least 15 pounds now. 

He loves to play in the grass and chew on sticks and pull weeds for me. He still doesn't know what to think of water but we are working on that. He hates loud noises so we are working on those too. He is really big love bug and just wants to play and cuddle. We have him on a pretty good schedule now so no more waking up every 2 hours!! 

He is defiantly loved and an amazing new addition to our family. Makes me happy to know that they will grow up together and be best buds. 

Do you have a childhood pet? If so, what breed was it and what was it named? What is your favorite memory? 

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What's In My Purse????

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So I have recently been watching a bunch of YouTube video's and a lot of the ladies on there do this thing called whats in my purse. And recently my friend Kristin over at A Journey as a Mother of Four did one
 ( you can see her post here ) So I decided I wanted to do one too, why not join the bandwagon and have some fun.

My current purse is a blue Nine West. I choose it because it has 9 pockets. Being a mom I carry more things than I need just in case, so the more room the better. I am in search of a new one though.. I get bored with them fast.

( Yes, this mess was/is in my purse.... )

Of course there are Cars in my purse.. These are the ones currently but they change daily and multiply quickly. 

I am a HUGE gum addict. I like to chew on my lips and this helps keep me from doing so. 

My lip bag currently holds 13 different types / colors of lip products. Missing two that I pulled out to use at home this week. Why i feel I need 13+ is not known... its an addiction..

Band Aids and Neosporin, because lets face it... Boys will be boys. 

Currently in the middle of potty training. He has it down during the day, but still needs a pull up at nap / bedtime.

Tissues are always a must for 3 year old nose pickers 

Dog treats, Leash & Poop bags 

Keys & Hand Sanitizer.. I am kind of a germ freak

Medicine ( not pictured is the allergy medicine for my husband and son that gets thrown in before we leave to go somewhere ) 

My sunglasses ( ABSOLUTE MUST! ) 

Some Pens and a Lint roller... cause dog hair is everywhere

Glasses cleaner

Coupons 

And my wallet. Full of more coupons... 

I have things that get thrown in my purse before we leave somewhere like my Snacks and Drinks for my son and myself. A nail file is normally in with the medicine and a comb makes its way in there too sometimes. 

Whats your must haves for your purse, or something totally random that is in there?